I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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