they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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