just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
