i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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