I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
