she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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