She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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