Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
