Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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