But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
