How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
