i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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