i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
sex in a hospital.. check
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
