i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
