He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize