Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
