I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
