Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
