Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
