The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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