I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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