dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize