is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You don't make any sense
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