Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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