Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
