I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
