last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
