Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
