And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
