i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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