i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
