so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
