Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
