I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
