But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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