He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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