I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
