please come you make the beer taste better
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
