we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
