Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
