i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sober January is a disaster.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
