i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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