I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
