Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
