Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
