He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well you can't waste a boner
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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