Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my liver is dry heaving
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
