is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
