Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
