you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
