Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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