Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize