Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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