...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
