so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
