Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
