ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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