? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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